The sex offender is most often someone with whom the victim is acquainted, such as a friend, co-worker or family member. Most sex offenders are motivated by a desire to control, humiliate and/or degrade their victims; sexual gratification is secondary. Often, the sex offender will intimidate the victim with physical force or a threat of a weapon. Most victims are too frightened to fight back. Most victim/survivors show no physical signs of the attack, though some suffer severe injuries.

Someone you care for has experienced a terrifying event. The crime of sexual victimization, whether committed by an acquaintance, family member or stranger creates a crisis in the life of the victim.

The victim/survivor and you may:

• wonder if she/he could have prevented the attack
• feel guilty or responsible for not preventing the attack
• believe that by not talking about the assault, the bad feelings will go away
• feel impatient or confused if she/he continues to be affectedweeks, months or years after the assault

It is normal for you to feel upset and confused following the sexual victimization of a loved one. You are not responsible for failing to protect her/him. It is nearly impossible to create an environment in which the possibility of sexual victimization is completely eliminated. Knowing the facts about sexual victimization may help you resolve your own issues and be supportive of your loved one.

IMPORTANT INFORMATION

Sexual victimization is any sort of forced, unwanted, unwelcomed, or coerced sexual contact.  It may be physical or non-physical.

Nonphysical forms of sexual abuse include: obscene phone calls; lewdness/flashing; voyeurism/coming into contact with a "Peeping Tom;" being forced to pose for or view sexually explicit photographs of videos.

Physical forms of sexual abuse include: fondling/molesting/criminal sexual contact; rape/sexual assault.

Any person,  woman, man, or child can be sexually victimized, regardless of age, race, social or economic class. Though women and girls are the primary targets of these crimes, men and boys are sexually victimized too, and have been found to suffer the same aftermath as women. 

• Rape is not a crime of lust. It is a crime of violence.
• The offender is not always a stranger. Most sex crimes are committed by an acquaintance.
• The rapist's motive is to degrade, control, and/or humiliate.
• Rape may be a life threatening situation. There is no right way to respond to a rape.

RAPE IS...

...A violent crime.

87% of all rapists either threaten the victim with violence or death, and/or carry a weapon.

...A-life-threatening situation.

There is no one 'right' way to respond to a rape. Each rapist has his/her own pattern of attack. You escaped alive, therefore, you responded in the right way. 

You are a survivor.

...The responsibility of the rapist, NOT the victim.

No person 'asks for' or provokes rape by acting or dressing in a particular manner.

...NOT an act of lust.

The rapist's motive is not sexual gratification. It is to control, humiliate, and degrade a person.

...The most seriously underreported crime.

The FBI estimates that only 1 in 10 rapes is reported.

FACTS

FACT: The numbers are staggering: Every 3 minutes a woman is raped; One in 3 women is raped during her lifetime; One in 3 girls will experience sexual abuse before age 18.

FACT: Most sexual abuse and rapes are committed by an acquaintance, friend, relative or spouse of the victim. 

FACT: Most rapes happen in a setting familiar to the survivor.

FACT: It is not unusual for a victim/survivor to wait days, weeks or even years before disclosing the victimization. Some survivors never tell anyone.

FACT: Sex is consent between partners. If one partner does not consent, it is rape.

You or someone you know has been affected by sexual violence, abuse or harassment, you are not alone!

Help IS available. If you'd like someone to talk to, call 360-357-4472